What is Yoga Nidra? Yoga Nidra, or “yogic sleep,” is a guided meditation practice that induces profound relaxation and conscious rest, bringing the body into a state between waking and sleeping. Performed lying down (usually in Savasana), it uses body scans and breath awareness to soothe the nervous system and reduce stress, offering deep restoration.
There is science to back the use of yoga Nidra. As my voice guides the brain from active beta waves into deep relaxation states, you will start producing alpha and theta waves, and sometimes delta waves while maintaining conscious awareness. This state, often called “yogic sleep,” bridges the conscious and unconscious mind, fostering deep healing, stress reduction, and mental clarity.
You will experience deep relaxation: Yoga Nidra will reduce your stress, anxiety, and improve the quality of your sleep by calming the nervous system by activating the parasympathetic mode. The technique is simple and non-invasive. The practice involves lying down and following my voice as I give calm instructions, which often include setting an intention (Sankalpa), rotating awareness through different body parts, and observing your breath.
Yoga Nidra is suitable for all physical abilities as it is a restful, often silent practice performed lying down. Known as “non-sleep deep rest” (NSDR), it can act as a powerful tool for recovering energy, reducing physical tension, and aiding emotional regulation.
Sessions can range from short 10-minute “quick boosts” to longer, hour-long sessions. Yoga Nidra allows individuals to enter a state of dreamless sleep or conscious rest, aiding in physical and mental healing.
While you are lying on the mat, Yoga Nidra will begin to alter your brainwaves. You will start in beta. These are your active/waking brain waves the starting state of active thinking and alertness. As practice begins your brain waves slow, fostering calm, light relaxation and creativity as you enter alpha state, which is a relaxed state. Next comes theta brain waves, a sign of deep relaxation leading to your subconscious. The brain enters deep meditation, connecting with subconscious insights, emotions, and vivid imagery. Lastly, your mind will enter the delta state, where restorative sleep-like sensations will flood your body. These are the slowest brain waves, associated with restorative rest, cellular healing, and decreased cortisol, which we strive to achieve while staying awake.
This is why yoga Nidra is likened to conscious sleep, unlike normal sleep, it allows practitioners to experience delta waves while remaining aware. The transition to slower brain waves reduces cortisol and promotes profound nervous system healing and stress reduction.
Regular practice is associated with better sleep quality, reduced stress, and increased creativity all of which will improve your health.
I offer yoga Nidra Meditations every Monday at 9.30am at The Goddess Foundation in Benoni. You can also keep an eye out for my next community event, which is donation based. Events are listed on my Social Media & Zero Gravity Yoga
WhatsApp inquiries 0833613255
HOW THE 777 RULE CAN SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
How the 777 Rule can save your relationship 💓
Most relationships go through difficult patches, uninspired patches, emotional lows. The 777 rule is a relationship framework designed to keep marriages or long-term partnerships strong by prioritizing intentional quality time.
So if you’re feeling unexcited, uninspired or disconnected from your partner, why not try the 777 rule? The first step is to have a discussion about it to avoid disappointment and make sure you’re on the same page. Be honest about your feelings and needs, the room mate phase can be brutal if one of you is feeling rejected or unappreciated.
It consists of three habits: Every 7 days have a date night Every 7 weeks take a night away Every 7 months plan a romantic getaway. This structure helps couples reconnect, break routines, and maintain intimacy.
Core Components of the 777 Rule: Every 7 Days (Date Night): Regular, uninterrupted time together. It does not need to be expensive or out of the house; it can be a “table time” chat, a movie night, or a meal without distractions.
Every 7 Weeks (Overnight Trip): A mini-getaway such as a night in a local hotel or a weekend camping trip, to step away from daily responsibilities.
Every 7 Months (Vacation): A more extended trip to focus entirely on each other, providing a deeper chance for connection, adventure, or relaxation.
The 777 rule tackles the lack of time that can cause relationships to fade by making togetherness a consistent, scheduled priority. It also gives the male partner the opportunity to take the lead in building intimacy in the relationship, something the woman usually craves and reaches for.
It is designed to be flexible, focusing on the intention of connecting, rather than strict, expensive, or complex plans. Quality time which can encourage a deeper connection emotionally and physically.
Above all else, keep the lines of communication open. Make sure you are both on board, it can be very disappointing if your partner fails to follow through on date night. Perhaps discuss taking turns to ‘treat’ one another. A lack of quality time is one of the easiest things to repair if both of you are willing, and it will bring great rewards to your relationship.
I am a holistic Life Coach, traditional Doctor and Relationship Coach. Get in touch with me to book a session on my WhatsApp line. +27 83 263 5569
“Your most inspired life is crafted element by element”
PRACTICAL STEPS TO MAKE YOUR WIFE FEEL SEEN.
There has been a shift in mindset, when it comes to how a man should show up in a marriage or partnership. The old view was to work hard to provide money. But with women also working, the dynamic in a dual income home has shifted towards the quality of your interactions. The new view center’s around working hard to provide financially, but also to provide emotional safety and offer personal time and energy at home.
A working man can show effort for his wife by focusing on proactive partnership, consistent communication, and intentional presence, rather than relying solely on financial provision. True effort involves alleviating her mental and physical load through shared household responsibilities, consistent emotional support, and small, daily acts of kindness that show she is a priority. Many women are living in survival mode, and their nervous system requires a soft place to emotionally relax.
Proactive Shared Responsibility. Instead of “helping” as if the home is her responsibility, take ownership of chores. -Anticipate Needs: Tackle tasks without being asked, such as washing dishes, doing laundry, or taking out the trash, especially if you notice she is overwhelmed. -Manage the “Mental Load”: Take initiative on tasks like scheduling appointments, planning family events, or managing finances. -Cook or Handle Meals: Actively take over cooking or meal preparation to give her a break, and clean up after. -Daily Maintenance: Clean up after yourself immediately to prevent the buildup of clutter.
Emotional Presence and Support -Show that you are her teammate in life, not just a visitor in the home. -Active Listening: Listen attentively without offering immediate solutions. Truly hear her worries and frustrations to help her feel heard and valued. If she has a meltdown try to be curious rather than defensive.
-Decision making: Do not dominate your wife with your opinions, rather leave room for collaboration and hear her out. She has opinions and ideas too that need compromise. -Appreciation & Gratitude: Express appreciation daily for her efforts in the home, in her career, or as a mother. A simple “thank you” or “you are amazing” has profound effects. -Quality Connection: Create a screen-free “reunion” when you return home to reconnect properly. TV and phones block interpersonal communication. -Support Her Goals: Encourage her passions, hobbies, and career goals, making her personal growth a priority in your shared life. Do not talk down to her or criticise her goals and performance. -Respect her in public and private: Be mindful of showing respect and appreciation, especially in front of friends or family, which protects her dignity.
Small, Consistent Gestures of Affection. -Small acts of care are more effective than sporadic grand gestures. -Thoughtful Notes/Texts: Send messages during the day just to say you are thinking of her. -Daily Touch: A warm hug, holding hands, or a passionate kiss upon returning home can diminish stress and increase your connection . Make sure you understand what her needs are in the bedroom, and then follow through. -Unprompted Kindness: Bring home her favorite treat, flowers, or a small gift “just because”. Introduce activities that strengthen your emotional bond and bring you closer together to make sexual intimacy pleasurable. Such as a slow dance in the kitchen or sharing a bath.
Active Fatherhood -If you have children, being an active father is one of the highest forms of effort for your wife. -Share Childcare: Be proactive in feeding, bathing, and playing with children, allowing her to have time to rest. -Teach and Play: Engage with the children rather than leaving the responsibility of parenting entirely to her
Scheduling Intentional Time -As a working man, you must fight to create space for your relationship. Romance should not stop when you live together. You could try the 777 rule, it’s a relationship-strengthening framework designed to ensure consistent, intentional time together. It suggests a date night every 7 days, a romantic overnight getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer vacation every 7 months. This structure fosters intimacy and prevents routine and stress from eroding the bond.
Self-Care -Prioritize well-being: Maintain your own physical and mental health to be fully present and supportive in your relationship. A healthy partner makes for a better partner. Pay attention to your grooming, go to the gym and keep on top of your dentist and doctor appointments.
I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. T/DR Candice Baker 00013133614 You can book a session with me on WhatsApp +0027833613255
“Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”
PRACTICAL STEPS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND FEEL SEEN
For a working woman, the effort she makes for her husband in a modern marriage has shifted away from chores and servitude, to center more on partnership, empathy, and maintaining a nurturing connection. Rather than outdated notions of servitude, a dual-career household requires the focus to be on proactive communication, emotional support, and quality time over sheer physical labor. Here are the types of effort that strengthen a marriage when both spouses work:
Nurturing the Emotional Connection -Active Listening & Empathy: Create a safe space for him to discuss his day without fear of judgment. Listen to understand his stresses rather than to immediately respond. But put a limit on it to not poison the whole evening with a kind gesture or distraction. -Show Appreciation and Validation: Regularly thank him and acknowledge his efforts to provide and care for the family, which boosts his confidence. -Be a Team Player: Approach life’s challenges together, ensuring you are aligned on goals and values, viewing a “win” for one as a win for the team.
Proactive Communication and Support -Express Needs Clearly: Communicate your needs and desires directly instead of expecting him to guess, reducing misunderstandings. -Support His Goals: Champion his dreams and aspirations, offering encouragement when he feels demotivated. -Respect Him in Public: Be mindful of showing respect and appreciation, especially in front of friends or family, which protects his dignity.
Fostering Intimacy and Togetherness. -Prioritize Quality Time: Dedicate time, such as a weekly date night, to connect and have fun together, keeping the romance alive. -Maintain Physical Intimacy: Understand and address the importance of intimacy in the relationship. This does not refer only to sexual intimacy, but to activities that strengthen your emotional bond and bring you closer together to make this possible. -Small Gestures of Love: Leave notes, surprise him with a favorite meal, or offer acts of service that show you are thinking of him.
Efficient Household Partnership. -Shared Responsibilities: Work together to assign clear tasks for cooking, cleaning, and managing finances, rather than trying to do everything alone. -Flexibility During Tough Times: Offer grace and support, particularly when the other is having a difficult week. -Set Boundaries for Work: Agree on rules like “no business talk at dinner” to ensure your home remains a place of rest rather than an extension of the office.
Self-Care. -Prioritize well-being: Work can be hectic, but make time to maintain your own physical and mental health. This will help you to be fully present and supportive, while feeling good within yourself. A healthy partner makes for a better partner, so make time for exercise and self-care.
Ultimately, the best effort is one that fosters love, respect, and a “team-first” mentality, rather than merely balancing chores. The first step is simply to be kind to one another.
I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. T/DR Candice Baker 00013133614 You can book a session with me on WhatsApp +0027833613255
MENOPAUSE MAYHEM VOLUME 3: WHEN DID INSULIN BECOME THE ENEMY?
Ok, these fans might be overkill for hot flashes, but I’m sure every woman over 50 wishes they would fit in her handbag! :
Have you noticed that your eating plans stopped working, and that spare tyre is growing? Here is some advice based on the fight between oestrogen and insulin in your body right now.
Eat 3 protein meals per day instead of 5. Even it used to work for, it might not anymore. This is because as oestrogen maintains insulin sensitivity, and as it drops, women can become insulin resistant.
Not only might your go-to meal plan stop working…it might actually be sabotaging you. This is because the peri/menopause hormonal shift triggers increased abdominal (visceral) fat storage, reduced metabolic rate, and higher, harder-to-manage blood sugar levels. These changes, often compounded by poor sleep, make cells less responsive to insulin.
Eating 3 times daily will spike your insulin 3 times, instead of 5. So, if you’re feeling like you need a chocolate, have it straight after a meal instead of as a separate snack for the same reasons.
Quit the shakes and have a smoothie instead. Amino acids in protein shakes, particularly whey protein, primarily cause a significant spike in insulin. Protein shakes, especially whey, are highly insulinotropic, meaning they stimulate the pancreas to release insulin. A homemade smoothie can be a better option for avoiding insulin spikes than a typical shake, but only if it is designed with high fiber, healthy fats, and protein, and is low in sugar. Hint: skip the fruit juice.
Heart rate Your heart rate can spike your cortisol levels in peri/ menopause, with your oestrogen on an extended vacation. The ideal formula is to subtract your age from 180, to give you a ceiling in beats per minute. The best exercises for menopause combine strength training (lifting weights, bands) to build bone density and reverse muscle loss, with cardiovascular exercise (HIIT, walking, cycling) to manage weight and heart health. Just keep an eye on your heart rate to prevent cortisol from flooding your system. Recommended routines include 2.5 hours of moderate activity weekly, incorporating yoga for stress reduction and mobility.
Fiber To reduce bloating, add more fiber to your meals with a sprinkle of psyllium husk, especially if you’re eating pasta or a smoothie that is low on fibre.
Tonics Try Black Cohosh (hot flushes, night sweats) and Dandelion (white tongue, liver detox) Or Milk Thistle (inflammation) and Chastree/Agnus Castus (Hormone imbalances)
I am a wellness coach, traditional doctor and life coach based in Johannesburg. You can send me a WhatsApp to book an appointment on +27833613255
“Your most aligned life is crafted, element by element”
MENOPAUSE MAYHEM VOLUME 2: HOMICIDAL RAGE
Now everybody gets a little cross from time to time. Sometimes even for no reason, and that is a fine and human thing. But what happens when your oestrogen bottoms out, your progesterone is in decline and those well worn dopamine channels run dry?
Aside from developing a dark sense of humour and dry wit, your people pleasing seems to wither away and is replaced with an undeniable urge to slap people!
Rage during menopause is caused by fluctuating hormones (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone) impacting brain chemicals like serotonin, leading to mood instability. Combine this with physical symptoms like sleep loss, hot flashes, and stress, and your irritability is going to go through the roof. That shopping list that your partner keeps leaving in the kitchen is likely to get stapled to his forehead, whereas the old you would have sent a photo on WhatsApp or just gone to the shops yourself.
Emotional sensitivity is increased too when these hormones wobble or bottom out completely, creating a difficult situational cycle for everyone to endure. Estrogen changes affect mood-regulating brain areas and neurotransmitters, while increased cortisol from stress further fuels anger, making everyday triggers feel overwhelming. And lets not even talk about what the damn cortisol is doing to your previously slim waistline…
The Chemical Cascade explained. Estrogen and Serotonin: Declining estrogen levels disrupt serotonin, a “happy chemical” that regulates mood, leading to irritability and anger. This is why you are far more likely to tell people what you really think these days. No more sugar coating anything (because you probably are it all at midnight) Hormonal Rollercoaster: The fluctuating, rather than steady, decline of hormones makes mood swings unpredictable, similar to puberty. Things you used to brush off are suddenly wildly irritating. And although it’s great to hold people accountable for their misdeeds, murder is probably going a step too far! Cortisol & Stress: Menopause can heighten the stress response, increasing cortisol (the stress hormone), which amplifies irritability and emotional sensitivity, making it harder to cope. Neurotransmitter Imbalance: Reduced estrogen also lowers GABA, a calming neurotransmitter, which diminishes your ability to self-soothe.
So what to do when your mood-regulating brain chemicals are fucking with your chi? Consult a Doctor who is well educated on menopause. Possibly a female for more knowledge and enpathy. Discuss hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or other treatments for severe symptoms.
Find a menopause coach or wellness coach who can recommend natural supplements and holistic supplements to help you self-soothe. Explore how Dialectical Behaviour Therapy can help you, there’s even an app for this called Liven.
Manage your stress by practicing mindfulness (living in the moment), try joining a yoga or meditation class. Exercise, put your bare feet on the ground and find creative outlets like pottery, painting or making sour dough to channel your emotions.
And finally, optimize your lifestyle. Start by prioritizing sleep and staying hydrated. Your wellness coach can assist with a balanced diet that can also reduce cortisol levels (magnesium and B vitamins help). Swop out your coffee for cacao and sugar for honey. Find a calm space to retreat to when those murderous impulses rise, take a bubble bath and lock the door. (Yes please, it’s called boundaries)
At the end of the day, menopause can be a real shit show. But it’s your shit show so try to implement some of these before you become one of those bad things that happen to good people.
You’ve got this babe, just make a start and see how your life can change and grow through all of this.
I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. T/DR Candice Baker 00013133614 You can book a session with me on WhatsApp +0027833613255
“Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”
WHEN YOU WANT TO STAB THE CHRISTMAS TURKEY.
Sure, every relationship has its challenges. This can become more highlighted over the holidays, with spending too much time together, or feeling disappointed by a lack of attentiveness over the festive season. But it’s not about the Xmas dinner, it’s about patterns and nervous system dysregulation. When is enough, enough?
When does trivial irritation become toxic? A lot of relationships find themselves on the rocks over the holidays, perhaps because a spotlight is shone on behaviour vs expectation. And then comes the break-up and a lot of victim blaming at the end of the line. Perhaps both partners become the victim in some way, perhaps not… Some relationships fizzle out peacefully, while others become toxic and explosive, and this is what I wanted to talk about.
How do we react to these stressors, to the trigger stacking? The truth is that when a relationship becomes toxic or abusive, your body is programmed to protect itself. If you are under verbal or physical attack, you are eventually going to respond, no matter how you may try to stay calm.
This is because every nervous system has its limits, and once reached something has to give. Whether it’s fight, flight or freeze will depend on your wiring, your trauma and your situation.
These are automatic, instinctive stress responses that prepare your body to survive a perceived threat, involving physical reactions like increased heart rate (fight/flight) or going still/numb (freeze) as your nervous system mobilizes for action or shutdown. It’s often seen in anxiety or trauma but was once useful in genuine danger. (And still can be).
More recently another response has been added: Fawning. Let me break these down, you’re bound to recognise one in yourself. Fight: Preparing to confront the threat, potentially through aggression, arguing, or physical struggle. Flight: Instinct to escape or run from the danger by putting distance between yourself and the threat. Freeze: Feeling stuck, numb, or unable to move or speak, your body goes rigid, which can help you hide or assess the danger. Fawn: Trying to appease or please the threat to avoid conflict, often seen in trauma.
When you feel under attack, a number of factors come in to play physiologically. -Your amygdala becomes triggered in your brain. -Your heart rate and breathing speed up to deliver oxygen for your body to perform at is best. -Your muscles tense and prepare for action. -Your pupils dilate, hearing sharpens, and peripheral vision increases to assist you. -Your blood is redirected to major muscles, making your hands/feet cold and even clammy, and your clotting factors increase.
Your body is an incredibly smart survival machine, and this all happens automatically. Although you are unlikely to be chased by a bear these days, it will still be triggered by genuine danger or by non-threatening situations if you have experienced trauma or have anxiety disorders.
So an argument with your partner can lead to over stimulation and overactivity of the amygdala (that primitive part of your brain that is trying to keep you safe), and set all these physiological responses in motion.
Perhaps you are being victimised at work? You are unlikely to punch your boss in the face, or run out of the boardroom. You are most likely to freeze or fawn. But over time, if the victimisation continues you will probably walk out, or hand in your notice quietly and never go back.
Perhaps you are in a toxic romantic relationship? You might become emotionally distant over time, to guard yourself from the pain being inflicted. Disappear from their DMs, ghost their calls. Or try to outrun the situation by driving somewhere or locking yourself in a bathroom when a conflict escalates in your physical space. (And earn the label of ‘avoidant’, which can also be a form of victim-blaming, but is also a form of self-protection).
In a family or work or romantic relationship flight is not always an immediate possibility. This could be due to financial reasons or because you are physically being prevented from walking out. And that is when you might freeze, fawn or eventually, fight.
This is a survival response that is hardwired into your nervous system. It’s intended to protect you from physical harm, but it kicks in for psychological harm too as your blood pumps full of adrenalin. And before you know it, you find yourself cornered and start lashing out like a wild animal. This is called reactive abuse and you are probably going to feel awful about it the next day.
And although you can’t help it, this is a very damaging response, and you need to know that it’s not your fault. You are not a monster, and you are not the abuser. You are only human, and your nervous system is trying to survive under intense emotional or physical threat.
If your situationship remains unchanged, over time you might begin to develop CPTSD. This happens if the abuse is ongoing and you cannot get away. Complex PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a condition resulting from prolonged or repeated trauma, like chronic abuse or neglect. Verbal and emotional abuse fill this category too.
The problem with reactive abuse is that it’s very dangerous territory. It shifts you temporarily from victim mode into self-defence, and for a moment your partner will see YOU as the abuser. You might scratch, pull hair, lash out or shove this person in panic or an attempt to make them stop, or to get away from them.
If you are fortunate, a surprise show of strength might result in your partner backing down, this time. But over time, or perhaps immediately your partner will become more enraged, placing you at a greater risk.
If your reaction produces an even more extreme reaction in your partner, it will escalate the situation. And they might even use it against you, threaten to video your reaction, or shame you and justify their own behaviour. Perhaps even blackmail you to keep you under their control.
What is important in these types of relationships is to have an exit plan and start implementing it. Tell somebody. Speak to somebody about an emergency place to sleep for future incidents. File a report. Get a restraining order. Get a job. Start saving.
In the meantime, there are some other things that you can do to regulate your own nervous system. Start by understanding your pattern (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn), this is the key to managing it. Recognise what is triggering you and take steps to avoid it where possible. Give some thought to how you can circumvent or de-escalate the situation from your side by recognising your partner’s triggers. Now, I’m not suggesting you walk on eggshells forever, just until you can make a nice toward safety or work out a better way to respond.
Start practicing techniques that can carry you through this situation while you are working on your exit plan. Try mindfulness, grounding techniques, exercise, therapy, and self-care can help calm an overactive stress response. Positive visualisation and body talk. Ask for help and start taking positive steps to change your situation. You deserve a peaceful relationship or environment in which to grow and thrive.
I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. T/DR Candice Baker 00013133614 You can book a session with me on WhatsApp +0027833613255 “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”
THE CRACKED MIRROR In my business I get to meet so many amazing women. Beautiful women. Vivacious women. Accomplished women. Compassionate women.
And yet…they do not see themselves the way I see them. I could edit the most gorgeous photograph of one, poetry in motion. And you know what she will see? Tummy rolls. Like we are programmed to zoom in on our flaws, and disregard the positives.
Often women fail to see the bigger picture, and get stuck on their imperfections. And it is this habit that erodes our self esteem. We are trained to look for our flaws rather than focus on our strengths. We grow up deflecting compliments and staying humbled by the judgements of others. We internalise those judgements until our own inner critic is more brutal than anyone on the outside could ever be.
I am no different, I even resorted to plastic surgery in my 20’s. Despite the fact that I had so many amazing things going for me, I zeroed in on that one perceived flaw. And what followed was a disastrous sequence of events that affected my self esteem, my finances, my relationship, even my a ability to work.
What women do not realise is that they’re already the full package. And that the more we recognise our own gifts, the more gratitude and self appreciation will fill our lives and change it’s very course.
If you believed in yourself, what bold and brave choices might you make? How would you make love if you felt beautiful? What romantic partner would you seek if you felt worthy?
The way we see ourselves is what will shape our lives, and this applies to men as well, naturally. But the women…all tangled up in how society expects us to look, it’s a travesty and a tragedy. It’s an added layer of ‘I’m not good enough’ and it can poison your entire life. When I acknowledge the amount of self loathing that women live with, I wonder how they manage to get out of bed in the morning.
So just for today, start a journal. Each morning write in it something you like about yourself.
Put a post it note on your mirror-“You are beautiful” Let’s shift the narrative. Let’s change our mindsets. We are enough.
And just for today, do something nice for yourself. A flower on your coffee tray, some bubbles in your bath. Because you are worthy. Start a pattern that will change your mindset day by day.
I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. T/DR Candice Baker 00013133614 You can book a session with me on WhatsApp +0027833613255
“Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”
MENOPAUSE MAYHEM-VOLUME ONE
Menopause Mayhem- Volume 1 For every woman experiencing the train wreck that is menopause, there is the realisation that the information around it does not flow freely. Yes, we all know about rage and mood swings, but there is so much more. I’ve been doing some research, and I’ll be sharing it to raise awareness, because I understand how it can feel like you’re going crazy and don’t know why!
Today’s issue: Sensory Overload Did you know that menopause can cause sensory issues? This can lead to heightened sensitivity (sensory overload) or altered sensations like skin prickling, taste/smell changes, and balance problems, largely due to fluctuating estrogen affecting brain chemistry (serotonin, dopamine) and nerve pathways, impacting how you perceive the world. These shifts can make you more sensitive to lights, sounds, textures, and smells, impacting daily coping.
Here are some common Menopause-Related Sensory Issues: Heightened Sensitivity (Overload): Your partner has verbal diarrhoea while you’re trying to watch a movie and it’s taking every ounce of self control not to stab him with your dinner fork. Normal stimuli (lights, noises, crowds, textures) can feel overwhelming, triggering panic or needing to escape.
Altered Skin Sensations: Are your feet on fire, without doing the fire walk your guru says will change your life? You might be experiencing formication (insects crawling), burning, itching, numbness, or tingling (paresthesias).
Taste & Smell Changes: You used to love mincemeat and now you can’t even cook it without gagging like an adult film star. Fluctuations in estrogen can alter your sense of smell and taste, or cause a burning mouth sensation (burning mouth syndrome).
Balance & Coordination: You tried to catch the cat, went flying out of your bedroom door and impaled your boob on the garden gnome. Changes in the cerebellum, affected by hormones, can lead to dizziness, vertigo, clumsiness, and spatial disorientation.
Touch Sensitivity: Your forehead is flaking like an old paint job and you have to sit on your hands to stop clawing at your face. Skin can become drier and more sensitive, or conversely, responsiveness to touch (even intimate) might decrease.
Why It Happens: -Estrogen Decline: Estrogen influences neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, crucial for mood, cognition, and sensory processing. Lower levels disrupt these pathways, lowering your sensory threshold. -Nervous System Impact: Hormonal shifts affect nerve function, potentially increasing pain perception and disrupting sensory input.
If you have read this and some of these issues have resonated with you, there are some things you can do. Now that you know you’re not going crazy, give some thought to how you can adapt to this new and confusing version of you. Recognising these changes are hormonal, not you being “difficult,”is the first step. Try adjusting your environment (dim lights, quiet spaces) to feel more comfortable.
Seek support from a doctor or therapist, or life coach like me. A menopause coach perhaps, it’s important to speak with somebody who has knowledge of menopause and its symptoms. Women have been gaslit by the medical community for far too long. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help manage overwhelming feelings, and is such a great life skill to learn in general.
Start managing underlying factors like getting a hormone test and putting in place a plan to correct them holistically or with HRT. Address stress, sleep, and overall health, as these can worsen sensory issues. Once you’ve realised you’re not the problem and your hormones are betraying you, you can approach these challenges with more insight and patience, and make some key changes to suit this latest version of you. After all, sometimes a little rage is a valid and necessary thing. People pleasing is so last decade. Anyway, this is me signing off because my socks are driving me nuts…
I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. T/DR Candice Baker 00013133614 You can book a session with me on WhatsApp +0027833613255
“Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”
DID YOU JUST MOVE TO TRIGGER TOWN?
We’ve all been there. You asked your partner if the pool will be blue for the weekend and he lost his shit. He tapped you on the butt in the kitchen and you bit his head off. This is because without regulating our nervous systems, we’re all basically one eye roll away from a major tantrum.
So why does something seemingly simple spike your anger like a rocket? Afterall, most of us are self-aware enough to know the argument wasn’t actually about stepping into the cat puke this morning.
Firstly, when our nervous systems are overwhelmed we tend to run on survival mode. Your vagus nerve is stuck on fight/flight mode. Secondly, you have a ticking time bomb in your stomach and a vice grip around your heart, which is amplifying your anxiety. This is because the vagus nerve connects your body to your brain, so you feel your stress quite viscerally. In medical terms, you’re operating in sympathetic mode, your body is flooding with adrenaline and your heart rate is elevated.
Then along comes a minor irritation and you find yourself on your broomstick before they could blink twice for help. This is where trigger stacking comes in. It’s an accumulation of both large and small stressors, which build up into a big reaction. One that leaves people wondering why you burst into tears over the order mix up at Micky D’s. Or a major tantrum in the parking lot sending the car guard scurrying off to safety.
There are some useful tools you can put to work here. The first being to take a big breath and a slow exhale when something is really pissing you off. This pause will gift you (and everyone else in the room) the opportunity to choose how to respond. And it can make all the difference. Some words will stay with people long after you regret has faded.
Before you go on the war path, there are some more nervous system techniques you can learn to keep things from overwhelming you. -You can cultuivate a sense of detachment where you can observe that thought. ‘Oops, there I go again’, let me change tack before the wrecking ball is unleashed. -That pause and exhale, will give you the opportunity for mindfulness, to assess whether your emotion was justified, or the result of trigger stacking. -Remove yourself from the situation and sit calmly till the visceral feelings in your body calm down. Notice your heart rate and breath, and start to slow it down. -Once your body and mind are feeling calmer, you can think more clearly and decide whether to return to the room. ‘Was it me?’ ‘Did I deserve that?’ ‘Were they out of line?’ ‘Unnecessarily rude to me?’ ‘Who needs to apologise?’ ‘Can I re-frame this and empathise with the other person?’ Most importantly, if the conflict was justified … ‘Is it safe to go back?’
If you’re feeling that your entire life has turned into a shit show, you are the victim of trigger stacking and you should take a look at ways to flip your script. Yoga and meditation are great ways to bring your nervous system into parasympathetic mode. Your body will soften, the intrusive thoughts will fade, and your muscles will relax. This is the rest and digest phase. During yoga your brainwaves will shift from the usual Beta to the slower Alpha wave, which promotes relaxation. Meditation will take you into Theta waves, which reduce anxiety, and a deeper practice like Yoga Nidra will shift you into the Delta waves, similar to a deep sleep.
There are small things you can do daily, at home too, to take your power back. Like making sure you get enough sleep. Better nutrition and fewer stimulants. Grounding yourself by putting your bare feet on the floor and saying a simple affirmation like ‘You’ve got this, babe ‘ Take time to stretch in bed, and set some intentions for your day before you become a slave to your phone. Work on a gratitude journal, just a few thoughts before bed or first thing in the morning to get into a good head space…And finally, add some self-care rituals so you’re not pouring from an empty cup.
You’ve got this, boo. So don’t become one of those bad things that happen to good people! At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own triggers and people shouldn’t have to tiptoe around you.
And lastly, before you diagnose yourself with depression, make sure you are not in fact surrounded by arseholes. Sometimes, the ultimate solution is to move forward, onwards and upwards. We were never meant to be stagnant or paralysed by stress.
I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. T/DR Candice Baker 00013133614 You can book a session with me on WhatsApp +0027833613255
“Your most aligned life is crafted-element by element.”
